It just occured to me that I find cursing liberating. Yes, cursing. As in saying foul words. Not bad words in English, eg. f*** you, motherf*****, as*****. No, I feel pretentious when cursing in English.
Liberating foul words for me is the classic Makasarian's - pardon me - such as "sundala", "lasso", and "kabulamma" / "kabumlampe". Respectively means son of a prostitute and male genetalia. I'm not sure what kabulamma nor kabulampe means.
It's not that I curse regularly. No. Saying bad words is not elegant, it isn't womanly, and most importantly my child is not going to have a foul mouthed mother. No no nope. Foul words usually come out from me spontaneously and it happens rarely. Maybe. Hopefully. Hmmm.... Mostly I curse involuntarily, when I think to myself or when conversing with close friends or my husband. I never curse around my family because in junior high my sister has given a long hard speech about how those words are bad and we should never ever say that.
Cursing in public are generally perceived as an unclassy behavior. Only those who are without class or are in lower class that curse freely. Is that true?
In my experience, only highly recpected doctors whose fouls mouths are tolerated. If you are very capable at your job or you are widely respected, then no worries - curse away. People won't scowl. If you aren't, well, people are more likely to judge. Well, people judge each other based on many things - mostly on money - but saying bad words in public are one of the things that frowned upon. Most people in my social circle don't curse in public. They curse in their "inner circle" or they put **** to cencor themselves.
Back to liberating. I wonder why do I find cursing liberating? What I can make out for now, the reason is probably because I know cursing is not good. So when I do curse, it somawhat refreshed me. Just like Coca-cola. I know it's bad for my health, but when I do have it there is that "hoooo enaknya mo lasyoooohhh" sensation. Ok perhaps not to that extent, but it is somehow satisfying. If I start cursing all the time, the satisfaction will undoubtedly be gone.
As always occured in this blog, an absolutely random topic pops out every now and then. What brought me to this random train of thought about foul words tonight?
Was just reading something about Leo diCaprio's new movie and when I found out the director I can't help but think, "sundala, Innaritu!! Jelas skali mi produsernya, mdh2an dapat mi oscar ini leo". I was very excited about Leo and Innaritu's collaboration which made me felt the need to express the excitement with a generally perceived bad word. It then strucked me that the spontaneous "sundala", for a split second, liberated me.
Learnt something about myself today.
Appreciate little things in life, right?
Well this is not a social study. It's barely an assessment. This is a mere self observation.
Come to think of it, I do enjoy making self-observations in this blog. I rarely find anyone to discuss these trivial topics that come to mind. This blog has always been the outlet to express trivial and random topics for me.
Which leads me to the last part of the title - growth.
I need to write as often as I can in order to practice writing. No matter how random the topic might be.
"A well structed writing" is my goal. It sounds simple, but my blog posts have proven that in my case it is not. Probably because I tend to write spontaneously, whereas well-structed writings needs planning. Does it?
Excuses are lame, making efforts for progess shows growth.
*After re-reading, some changes were made in order to improve the flow of this post and make it easier to understand. Yeay, I learnt two things today!! :)
Love my readers,
- even if they are non-existent, therefore most likely are imaginary -
D. C. S.