Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Over Sharing?

Just this morning I tweeted something about sharing on social media. 

People should contemplate, what should they and shouldn't they share?
What is ok? What is off limits? 
How far should one let their personal thoughts out there? Where did sharing stop and bragging starts?

As far as I remember, I haven't post half about my life in this blog. Not the deepest, most personal moments. Not all of my accomplishments either. To my relief, even during misguided teenage years, somehow I haven't written it all. It's ok to share, it's ok to brag. I share. I brag. But to some extent. We should preserve something just to ourselves and closed ones, shouldn't we? 

I did this, I accomplished that. I went here, I visited that. I own this, I own that. All these sosmed and apps tell you to share. Sharing is good, it's a positive word. But perhaps one should step back and contemplate how far should one share. Are you letting everyone know to much? Are you ok with people prying to every single detail of your life? It's ok to take pride of your achievements, of your possesions even. But perhaps a little bit of discretion would be wise.

Today, with all these sosmed frenzy, there is that temptation of letting everyone know everything, all the effin time, all the effin place. 
I use the word tempation. Not pressure. Pressure means there are forces that's making you do things, even if you're reluctant. Temptation is the desire to do something. It's completely up to you. 

Of course, everyone is entitled to their opinions. And so am I. My opinion is, we should try not to over-share.

It's not like I'm vowing not to share on sosmed ever again. Absolutely not. All I'm saying is, we should probably think before we hit the post button.

D. C. S.

Daenerys Marlene Todingan

Life after wedding is blissful. Got pregnant immediately after honeymoon, praise the Lord. Now my baby is 3months old and she is the most beautiful and smartest baby there is.

I, like most new moms - probably, was flabbergasted for the first few weeks. Never thought breasfeeding as a challenging task! One that requires displine and patience. But it is all worth it. Baby Daenerys is healthy and happy, we are very grateful. 

Daenerys Marlene Todingan.
Daenerys, taken from my favorite ASOIAF character.
Marlene, combination of out mothers' name - Martha and Caroline
Todingan - her father's last name.

Anyway, I have download blog app so HOPEFULLY I can stay commited and write more frequently this time. 

Maybe I'll talk about Daenerys. Maybe I'll talk about my observation of life in general. This blog has always been some sort of diary anyway. 

D. C. S.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

(Can not wait for) Life after Wedding Day

Soooo, I'm getting married in exactly thirty days.
Of course I'm looking forward to it, right now in the middle of invitation fiasco... Ok not a complete disaster fiasco, but we do have a lot to do. But all is well and in control, no fear.

After the wedding day, we're planning to have a little trip...
But the thing I look forward the most is:

April 30th, when we're back in our house and start living together. For some reasons, I really do believe that our lives (Pywe and mine) will be more complete and we will face new adventures together. :)

Well for now, here's a cheesy little clip from our Engagement Photo Shoot ^^


Thursday, February 06, 2014

The Satisfaction of Reaching a Goal

The goal was to reach body weigh under 49 kg in 2013. Today is February 6th, 2014 and I'm currently 48 kg. Lost about six or seven kilos in four months doesn't seem that much, does it? But I went to hell and back to get that. I'm not that big in the first place, but to be able to become fitter took a lot of hard work.

What did I do?

I pick a sport.
Then I fkin do it.
Three times a week, one hour each.

In terms of food, now I'm eating normally. There were a month or so, maybe back in September or October, when I mostly eat fresh vegetables and very little carbs. Ate red rice everyday, little dinner, and cook food on my own in order to limit calories. But a lot of times I snacked on Snickers. Limiting food consumption is crazy hard especially when you're a stress eater like me. So when I can't hold the hunger anymore, I ate Snickers bars. Started the total diet + exercise combat in June 2013 and it wasn't until November that the result finally shows.

Mostly ate this kind of food: protein, cooked with little spice. And LOTS of fresh veggies. Mostly raw veggies with plenty of mayo hahaha... Or boiled veg with a bit of salt.

The exercise was:
Run for 45mins then some muscle training (5kg barbel each hand)
or, my favorite:
I swim 30-50 laps each time. I am very proud to say that I've done 500 laps during November. With Sutra my cousin as the counter and witness hahahha. The swimming pool isn't very long, about 10m only. But I am very proud to have achieved that 500 laps goal. My personal record was 73 laps in two hours.

Two hundred laps in two weeks

After reaching 48 kg body weigh I have started to have normal carefree dinners again. I don't have the body of a SNSD member, but I do feel content.

Mei 2013
Januari 2014

Mei - November - Januari

March 2013
December 2013

Changes from Mei to November
Personal goal: 500 laps in November

 Most importantly, I am very grateful that this fitter body does look better in pictures. Just in time for our engagement photo shoot. I am very pleased hehehe. Engagement photos to follow!

Never be ashamed for something you have worked so hard for.

Work hard!
Pray hard!
(Oh yes I prayed for this. During the months of enduring diet program, I pray to God for a fitter body and a strong soul to continue exercising. The truth is: I HATE SPORTS. Hate it so much I refuse to spend money by becoming a gym member or yoga member or buying any new sport attire. I wear the same running shoes and swimsuit from high school. The only money I spend for the diet program was for a pair of swimming googles. Only for that and nothing more.)

If I can do it, anyone can.


Wednesday, February 05, 2014

Topeng Kaca dan Daydreaming

It turns out my promise wasn’t suci-suci amat ya buat blog ini…
Maafkan saya pemirsa…

I started a business, it made me terribly busy… More importantly, I have the ULTIMATE JANJI SUCI that needs focus and attention, thus the neglect of the promise on the previous post… Banyaknya alasanku… Tapi nda sempat ka memang gang…


TOPENG KACA (Garasu No Kamen) – Mahakarya SIZUE MIUCHI


Semua yang suka komik dari tahun 90an, terutama cewek, pasti tahu tentang komik teater ini. The story line is captivating, complicated without being overly exaggerated. Not to mention  the beautiful drawing, with big sparkly crytal eyes.  Very 80s shojo manga.

It is based on a big story line, the ultimate question that has not been answered for decades: SIAPAKAH YANG AKAN MENJADI BIDADARI MERAH?? 

That is the one question that I praaaaaay - oh dear Holy Entity pleeeeeease – give me the answer before I leave this world.

Apakah Maya Kitajima akan menjadi Bidadari Merah? Sekaligus mendapatkan Masumi Hayami?? Apakah dia akan mendapatkan her happy ending kasian??
Atau kah Ayumi Himekawa si selebriti sempurna?? Few years back tanpa ragu saya berpihak sama Maya ya. Ayumi di atas kertas memang sempurna dan karakternya berkembang secara alami...Cuma we know deep down that traditionally, the imperfect clumsy normal main heroine would somehow end up winning. Tapiiiiii!!!! Tiba-tiba Ayumi diibuat buta coba sama si pengarang coba.

Miuchi sensei disappear for a decade without finishing her own masterpiece. Then she decided to continue the series, which is great btw. And then she was like “OK let’s make Ayumi blind so everyone starts reading again.”


Sekarang I honestly can’t pick a favorite… Antara kasihan sama Ayumi si gadis buta cantik dengan Maya yang MDL (malang dari lahir).  Apakah Maya akan melepas Bidadari Merah dan meraih cinta dengan Masumi? Mana tiba2 tunangannya Masusmi jadi gila ka apa opole… Dramanya…

Truthfully I can’t say I like the time setting change as well…. Miuchi sensei decided to continue the series with time adaptation to recent time, thus the technology changes in the manga. However, I like it the 80s kind of way, from where the manga started its story… No cellphones, no internet… Just theater and sometimes big screen activities.

And it becomes somewhat irrelevant with today’s reality. A rivalry between two young actresses to get the role of a legendary play should become a public fiesta, should it not? So naturally, if it does take the modern setting, it would have some sort of public voting or netizen polling of some sort.

I personally find the new series lacking… The story feels like being dragged, the drawing isn’t as strong as it was… That’s just my opinion, though.

Regardless, I still read them because again: I NEED TO KNOW WHO THE BIDADARI MERAH IS.

I truly wish, before I die, I should get the answer of that question.



Now this one.
It is full with powerfull words. So many of it I actually memorize some of them. Yoshimura Akemi is a genius when it comes to novel like manga... Almost graphic novel. The scene drawings are always impecable. She also tends to write characters who argues really well. Akemi sensei is really good in producing emotional dialogues. Most of the quotes I like from her works come from the arguing scenes. Akemi sensei would build up tension and climax the scene in though provoking dialogues. Examples to follow.

Daydreaming or Yumono Mahiru is a story of a girl who lives with an elderly woman who has quite a particular family. The elderly lives by herself after her husband passed away so she open a room for rent, thus enter the weak hearted girl. Later they were joined by the granny’s grandchild. The grandchild was a guy who “works’ as a spiritual medium for religious ceremonies.

It is very Yoshimura Akemi sensei. The circumstances setting are unique. She likes to have elderly characters on her work, as well as plenty of arguing-your-heart-out scene.

The girl likes to live with the granny because she can learn how to be strong hearted.

Some quotes that I truly like:

“Dia lawan. Pahami itu dengan jelas. Jangan memperlihatkan kelemahanmu. Lindungilah teritorimu dengan sekuat tenaga!”

This following quote is my favorite scene. These lines are the very reason why at this age I still read mangas. 

 So the story was, the granny’s eldest son had an illegitimate child. The said illegitimate child came to granny’s house demanding for her attention.

Kamu meremehkan selember kertas (referring to kartu keluarga). Tapi karena tidak ada ketulusan untuk mendapatkan selembar kertas itu, kamu tidak diakui.”

“Selember kertas? Huh! Orang yang meremehkan peraturan jangan bicara soal hak.”

Kalau kamu bilang darah lebih penting daripada kartu keluarga, perasaan juga lebih  penting daripada darah. Mana mungkin aku tiba-tiba sayang pada orang yang baru muncul dihadapanku kemarin dan hari ini? Nggak tahu malu juga ada batasnya, tahu!”

“Aku punya sembilan orang cucu yang terdaftar, sedarah, dan sah. Semuanya kubeda-bedakan. Aku hanya menyayangi cucu yang kusukai.”

Powerful stuff, yo. 

Another scene.

“Mana ada orang yang menghormati orangtua serakah yang menghabiskan sisa hidupnya demi diri sendiri dan hidup berumur panjang dengan sia-sia?! Bagaimanapun juga pasti mati! Jadi selama semangat dan kekuatan fisik masih ada, buatlah kontribusi untuk masyarakat, maju terus ke depan, demi dunia, demi manusia, baru mati! Kalau punya semangat bertarung seperti itu, baru ada gunanya kau hidup!!

“Aku merasa seperti ada dirimu tumbuh dalam hatiku, seperti pucuk bunga yang sedang berkembang.”

Which reminds me of this one. It wasn’t from Daydreaming, but it was Yoshimura sensei’s:

“Semua anak perempuan itu bunga yang akan mekar. Kalau kamu, pasti tidak akan salah memekarkannya.”

It has such deep meaning… Every girl is a flower. Every girl will bloom. But blooming is a process, which the girl has the responsibility to decide on how she would bloom and would become…. What kind of flower you’d be is up to you.

I pray that you readers bloom your flowers beautifully.
Please pray that my ULTIMATE JANJI SUCI procession will run well, readers.

Best wishes,

Monday, June 10, 2013

If you're responsible then you should've put an end to it

>> the girl who likes lousy pun... read the title in "Single Ladies" tune....

Here are some book and manga titles that I demand for the ending story!!
1. A Song of Ice and Fire by G.R.R. Martin
2. Topeng Kaca a.k.a Garasu No Kamen by Suzue Miuchi
3. Detective Conan a.k.a Meitantei Conan by Aoyama Gosho

I mean, I understand that authors and their publishers have their reasons to keep highly popular or even legendary series on the long running. But passionate reader such as myself is waiting in agony for the ending.... (T_____________T)

Well, to be fair, Martin probably isn't delaying the ending on purpose.  A Song of Ice and Fire series has a very realistic and complicated story hence the long time needed to finish it. But honestly, since Martin is an older writer - 64 years old. He started the series back in 1996. Yes. 19 fkin 96. Seventeen years ago. Only God knows when he'll gonna finish writing it. I don't think even Martin himself knows. He's old, what if something happens to him before he writes the whole thing?? *crying* The New York Times did reported "in 2011 that at 62, Martin was by all accounts in robust health". So there's hope.

From wikipedia, my forever trustworthy non-academical source, writes,
"Early during the development of the TV series, Martin told major plot points to producers David Benioff and D. B. Weiss in case he should die. Benioff and Weiss learned more future plot points from Martin in 2013 to help them set up the show's new possible seasons. Deviations from the books' storylines are being considered, but a two-year show hiatus to wait for new books is not an option for them as the child actors continue to grow and the show's popularity would wane.[54] Martin indicated he would not permit another writer to finish the book series.[39]"

I can go on and on and on when it comes to A Song of Ice and Fire, so let's stop for now.

The never ending story of Topeng Kaca will have its own blog post, so I'm gonna skip that.

Thus we arrive at the final rant of the never ending series that I demand the author to put an end to:
Detective Conan. The series has reached #73 for its Indonesian translation, there seems no plans made for an ending... I mean really. It's not like Conan is a children manga, like Doraemon or Miiko, which doesn't have a big storyline. Detective Conan does have a story line. That is the exact reason why it needs a finale. Unlike Miiko or Nobita who can repeat 5th and 4th grade respectively every single year. It saddens me to see Ran waiting for Sinichi to return. He's never gonna, hun. Go find someone else. *emosi*

A good story needs an ending. Finish what you started.
Sometimes I thought those authors don't have that much compassion for their characters... Don't they wanna know what their children (characters the author made) end up at? Do they want their children die with them, not knowing what kind of lives they're leading to? 

Sad ending, bitter ending, happy ending, even mysterious uncomprehending ending is acceptable for me. At least it ends. Harry Potter ended. So did The Hunger Games series, Hercule Poirot, LOTR, The Golden Compass, Narnia, For the Rose, Popcorn, Working Man, Hotaru's Light...

At least Martin has arranged the ending plot.

Responsible authors put an end to their stories.

Janji Suci Untuk Blog Ini

Demi mengembalikan keceriaan sekaligus kehidupan ke dalam blog ini, I hereby promise to blog these topics in the near future:
- Topeng Kaca
- Daydreaming
- Giraffe, I'm Going to Your Fanmeeting even if it means bankruptcy!
- Put a ring on it

Janji empat blog dalam bulan ini janji! Dua posting tentang komik, satu purely observational sementara satunya adalah salah satu komik teman merenungku hahaha. Yang dua lagi post cerita2 saja... Jayus juiceku cukup overflowing saat ini bela uhuiii.

Kalo ada yang nantikan.
Nantikan mi bede, ngapamo.

 Stay happy stay healthy!

Serius Kamma, Shay

A random rambling curhat type of post.

Secara statistik 66,67% postingan blog saya di tahun 2013 ini bertema serius: death and life rules. Kenapa ka koweeeeee hahahaha. Sejujurnya, sejak ulang tahun saya Oktober lalu, saya agak2 mengalami krisis separuh paruh baya. Am I sure what my life goals are, what is the purpose of my life, and so on and so forth. At a point, I was captivated by the term "the sweet release of death". Terus, se jadi suka nonton film dgn tema2  soul searching begitu.... Komik dengan tema2 begitu... Dan baru2 ini se jadi menyadari, semua itu bikin saya sendu ottokeeeee!! I mean, buat apa coba?? Renungan dengan pertanyaan di atas se coba pahami sih, tapi... Kepanjangan kalo mo ditulis disini lek... Lagian terlalu personal hahaha....

Kemarin se nonton film About Schmidt yang pemeran utamanya Jack Nicholson. Film yang bagus dan menyentuh. Tapi disitu mi se sadar, ya Tuhan, terlalu banyak ka merenung. Kebiasaan merenungku sejak Oktober itu plus buku yang se baca bikin se sadar kalo hati manusia itu memang sedalam samudera. Dengan refleksi ke diri sendiri dan orang lain. Tapi ya, kalo terlalu sering merenung juga bisa bikin depresi e. Kalau pake perumpaan hati manusia sedalam seluas samudra, bisa dibilang beberapa bulan blakangan se tralu sering berenang. Akhirnya se jadi terlalu serius dan tegang. Dimanaaaaaaa Danilela yang random dan ceria?? Se masih suka ji nonton acara2 lucu dll ji, tapi cukup lama hatiku berwarna kelabu yang suram. Dan ujung2nya se jadi sendu dan tidak produktif. Hahaha capek deh.

Belum lama ini se ketemu teman lamaku. Kita cerita panjang dan se jadi lega stlh cerita sama dia. Berkat cerita sama dia se coba berkomunikasi dua arah kembali sm Tuhan Yesus. Dan itu bikin se lebih damai. Trus bbrp hari lalu scara nda sgaja dengar Joyce Meyer bilang, "I am a serious person. I sometimes forget that even Jesus himself wants us to be joyful and happy. Remember, His first miracle doing was at a party!!".

Se banyak menghabiskan waktu sendiri, dan pada saat se nda bekerja se jadi banyak memikirkan hal2 kek begini. Tuhan itu hebat ya, bisa bikin makhluk hidup bernama manusia yang punya akal ples perasaan. Kombinasi keduanya bikin manusia jadi berpikir ksana kemari. Di satu sisi se bersyukur, karna Tuhan anugrahkan saya berkat melimpah sehingga struggle ku bersifat non-fisik begini.

Jiaaaah kok ujung2nya jadi posting berat2 lagi ya hahaha. Aduh nda fokus anaknya. Kangen ka teman2ku kowe... *owkey*

"If we must die, we die. But before we die, we live." - GRR Martin

Mo ka kasi keriting rambut deh.
*ditulis oleh Ella yang agak korslet, tapi lebih damai dan bahagia hahaha*

Tuesday, March 05, 2013

my life, my rules?

no, apparently not.
billions or trillions (perhaps) have lived before you. they have settled some rules. some of those rules makes perfect sense, some needed struggling to understand. the world is old and the wisdom survived are the ones that are true... i guess... look at me, trying to express my understanding of the world.


miss manchester very badly today. found these pieces of memories just now:

hp studio tour, england vs spain, wwf save tiger, postcard from imee, self reward for 2nd term (wake up at 7 sleep at 1/2 the beginning of classical music fondness), autograph from an arsenal player, highest roller coaster in the uk, craziest party at suede, watching beauty and the beast 3d, cue card for laporan ketua panitia indonesian cultural night, football olympic ticket which i didnt attend, amc ticket, prom. hahaha good times.

it is not ok to dwell in the past.
the past shapes you
you are not determined by your past
instead, you are determined by what it made you become

if you are to recall the past,
recall the happy times
recall the lessons it made you learned
recall why the past is in the past
be thankful for it

now is the time preparing self for the future

the future is here
use it well

Thursday, January 24, 2013

"Pulang ke rumahku yang abadi - rumahku yang terakhir"

The title is taken from Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre. I'll get to Jane Eyre later.

So I recently watch Les Miserables. As I grow older, I cry more easily. Especially the part where Jean Valjean dying.

The story set in 19th century, in the dawn of French Revolution (if I'm not mistaken), ending in the failed June Rebellion. Jan Vanjean was convicted 20 years of jail because he stole a loaf of bread for his dying nephew.  After got released, he couldn't find any honest work as no one willed to employ him. In the movie he was shown survived by foraging garbage or fodders... One night he was sleeping outside a church when a priest showed him kindness by giving him warm food and bed. Having lost faith in sincerity and mercy, that very night Vanjean stole silver utensils from the church and ran away. He got caught in the morning by the policemen. To Vanjean's surprise, instead of convicted him, the priest said that he did gave all the silver as presents for Vanjean. The priest even added that Vanjean forgot the most precious ones, which were the candlesticks. Bewildered, Vanjean cried out that God has showed him mercy through the priest. Thus, he proclaimed that he shall turn his life around, forget his past and become a new man. Through his life he worked hard, got broken hearted, and endlessly running away from Javert, the prison guard.

At the end of his life, as he took his final breath, he sang these words:

"God on high
Hear my prayer
Take me now
To thy care
Where You are
Let me be
Take me now
Take me there
Bring me home
Bring me home."

"Forgive me all my trespasses
And take me to your glory."


After long years of enduring hardships and working so hard to turn his life around, he finally came home. To His Holy Father's house.

I personally found the part of coming home to Lord Father is especially touching. It reminded me of Helen Burns, the orphaned girl in the novel Jane Eyre. Jane Eyre was sent to an orphanage, where she had one kind-hearted friend named Helen.

Jane was mistreated at home, thus she was sent away. To her story, Helen said:
"Tidakkah kau akan lebih bahagia kalau kau mencoba melupakan kegalakannya, beserta semua ledakan emosi yang menyertainya? Bagiku, hidup terlalu pendek untuk dihabiskan dengan memelihara permusuhan atau mengingat kesalahan orang lain.
Kita semua, semua orang, memang harus dibebani dengan kesalahan di dunia ini. Tetapi aku yakin akan tiba waktunya kita melepaskan beban itu dengan melepaskan tubuh kita yang bisa hancur ini."

Helen continued, "...dengan prinsip ini, pembalasan dendam tidak terlalu meresahkan hatiku, ketidakadilan tidak pernah menindasku sampai terlalu remuk. Aku hidup dalam ketentraman, menantikan akhir."

One day, Helen was very sick. Jane got a hunch and sneak in to visit Helen in the middle of the night.
"Aku datang untuk menemuimu, Helen. Kudengar kau sakit parah dan aku tidak bisa tidur sebelum menemuimu."
"Kau datang untuk mengucapkan selamat tinggal padaku, kalau begitu. Kau mungkin datang pada waktunya."
"Apakah kamu mau pergi ke suatu tempat, Helen? Kau akan pulang?"
"Ya. Ke rumahku yang abadi - rumahku yang terakhir."
Helen then told Jane that her mother died when she was little. Her father got married again and then sent Helen to the orphanage.
"Aku menghitung jam demi jam sampai tiba waktunya aku kembali kepada-Nya dan menghadap hadiratNya. Tuhan adalah bapaku. Tuhan adalah sahabatku. Aku mengasihiNya. Aku percaya Dia mengasihiku."

I'm very well aware that I am too young to think about death. It's just Les Miserables made me think about it and... I came to an obvious conclusion.
The gift of live has been bestowed unto me. I will face all kinds of challenges and miseries in the future. However, after my share of hardships, I will go home. Return to my Lord Father. It's calming, is it not? To know that you always heading to a place. That the very end is home.