Friday, July 17, 2015

Cursing, Random Topics, and Growth.

The first topic of this post is cursing.

It just occured to me that I find cursing liberating. Yes, cursing. As in saying foul words. Not bad words in English, eg. f*** you, motherf*****, as*****. No, I feel pretentious when cursing in English.
Liberating foul words for me is the classic Makasarian's - pardon me - such as "sundala", "lasso", and "kabulamma" / "kabumlampe". Respectively means son of a prostitute and male genetalia. I'm not sure what kabulamma nor kabulampe means.

It's not that I curse regularly. No. Saying bad words is not elegant, it isn't womanly, and most importantly my child is not going to have a foul mouthed mother. No no nope. Foul words usually come out from me spontaneously and it happens rarely. Maybe. Hopefully. Hmmm.... Mostly I curse involuntarily, when I think to myself or when conversing with close friends or my husband. I never curse around my family because in junior high my sister has given a long hard speech about how those words are bad and we should never ever say that.

Cursing in public are generally perceived as an unclassy behavior. Only those who are without class or are in lower class that curse freely. Is that true?

In my experience, only highly recpected doctors whose fouls mouths are tolerated. If you are very capable at your job or you are widely respected, then no worries - curse away. People won't scowl. If you aren't, well, people are more likely to judge. Well, people judge each other based on many things - mostly on money - but saying bad words in public are one of the things that frowned upon. Most people in my social circle don't curse in public. They curse in their "inner circle" or they put **** to cencor themselves. 

Back to liberating. I wonder why do I find cursing liberating? What I can make out for now, the reason is probably because I know cursing is not good. So when I do curse, it somawhat refreshed me. Just like Coca-cola. I know it's bad for my health, but when I do have it there is that "hoooo enaknya mo lasyoooohhh" sensation. Ok perhaps not to that extent, but it is somehow satisfying. If I start cursing all the time, the satisfaction will undoubtedly be gone.

As always occured in this blog, an absolutely random topic pops out every now and then. What brought me to this random train of thought about foul words tonight? 
Was just reading something about Leo diCaprio's new movie and when I found out the director I can't help but think, "sundala, Innaritu!! Jelas skali mi produsernya, mdh2an dapat mi oscar ini leo". I was very excited about Leo and Innaritu's collaboration which made me felt the need to express the excitement with a generally perceived bad word. It then strucked me that the spontaneous "sundala", for a split second, liberated me. 

Learnt something about myself today. 

Appreciate little things in life, right?

Well this is not a social study. It's barely an assessment. This is a mere self observation.

Come to think of it, I do enjoy making self-observations in this blog. I rarely find anyone to discuss these trivial topics that come to mind. This blog has always been the outlet to express trivial and random topics for me.

Which leads me to the last part of the title - growth.

I need to write as often as I can in order to practice writing. No matter how random the topic might be. 

"A well structed writing" is my goal. It sounds simple, but my blog posts have proven that in my case it is not. Probably because I tend to write spontaneously, whereas well-structed writings needs planning. Does it? 

Excuses are lame, making efforts for progess shows growth. 

*After re-reading, some changes were made in order to improve the flow of this post and make it easier to understand. Yeay, I learnt two things today!! :)

Love my readers,
- even if they are non-existent, therefore most likely are imaginary -
D. C. S.


Tuesday, June 02, 2015

Hardhome

The internet is dark and full of spoilers. Unsullied, don't read this post.
I am serious. This post contains some major spoilers. If you haven't read the last book, don't read this. Don't say I don't warn you.

Hardhome.
Episode 8.
Best episode of Game of Thrones season 5. Yet.

Today I am finally making a guess based by evidence shown both in the books and show. The show has gone beyond the books, since the books are not finished yet. Suprisingly, it's getting even more interesting. I have never dared to make a guess for the ending of ASOIAF, mainly because after the death of Ned and Robb Stark, there is no safe guess as who will truly win the game of thrones anymore.

I did, however, guess that it will all lead to a battle between the White Walkers and the dragons. After all the series is called A Song of ICE and FIRE. But the show is called Game of Thrones. Who shall win the game?

Jon Snow's journery to Hardhome was a depart from the books. I gotta say, I half hoped he'd die there instead of being stabbed by his brothers of the watch. Especially now that the show has implied how Olly in particular disagrees with JS' decision about wildlings. But one thing for sure, as have happened in the books, JS is a goner. I was hoping the show would differ from the book for this. But he is the poster boy of this season and GoT is famous for killing its poster boys. Ned... Robb... And soon Jon... You are missed.

Back to my guess.
The white walkers emerge as an army. So majestically, so mysteriously. An army of undead. Different with most zombies stories, where the undead merely march and attack. Without weapons, without commanders. GRR Martin created them as an almost organized, definitely dangerous species. The biggest threat to human kind. Ingenious.

The White Walkers emerge.
The one with the fire of dragons intends to "break the wheel".
Freefolks and the Night's Watch ally to face threat of the undead.
The fear of god is restored in King's Landing, enforcing the law of faith to the previously untouchable royals. How the royals and common people are the same before the gods.

Great houses rise and fall. Traditionally, the good and noble characters triumph in fantasy stories. But Ned and Robb teach us that those qualites aren't enough.
People need someone who is "the right kind of terrible", like Tyrion in this episode.
As it applies in the real world. As history dictates.

I believe these are all indications that in the  end, the game of thrones will be won by none other than Daenerys Targaryen along with the common people. She would save westeros from white walkers. She would establish some sort of democracy in her government, perhaps constitunional monarchy. Daenerys did say she would "break the wheel". Implying she will straighten those monarchs, enforce them to think more about their people, less about themselves. Their pride, their glory, their revenge. Look at the nights watch. Years have they been pleading for help from the kings and great lord. Only Stannis came for their aid. Other lords and kings are too occupied with their wars and games and misplaced pride. Leaving the coomon folks as the victims. Daenerys wants to "break that wheel". How forward thinking of her.

May be Daenerys would make new government, where the monarchs are restricted by constitutions and someone common people elect would take charges. The common people would no longer be victims of the royals' problems.
They will elect a leader who is, again, "the right kind of terrible". That happend to the British Kingdom, you know. The constitutional monarchy part, not the zombies vs dragons part. May be tyrion will be elected as first prime minister hahaha. No. I jape, I jape. It's hard to imagine how Daenerys will reach westeros, though. Now she is lost in the great grass sea as the last book tell. Faraway from her kingdom, with only Drogon, her fiercest dragon, by her side. Aaaarrggghhh!! Just when things seem to get better for Daenerys!! Damn you GRR Martin! I love you, but I also despise you.

I still can't guess what will happen to the Starks children in the end. What will happen to the very much still alive Sansa, Arya, Bran, and Rickon? Everyone thinks they're all dead. They themselves think all their siblings are dead. Poor Starks children. Pawns of the most tragic storylines. I really hope GRRM will reunite them in happy circumstances in the end.  

If my guess is somewhat correct, that means George R R Martin is building a story that leads to a war between zombies and dragons that will end in government reformation. All the while the characters entangled in super complicated conflicts. Mannnnn. In-ge-nious.

I do realize my prediction seems very off-course, but there are a lot of unusual, unconventional storylines in this series. 

Could my prediction be somewhat correct? American authors do like to make stories about destroying bad governments and establish democracy-driven ones. Suzan collins did exactly that in the hunger games. May be GRRM is doing that as well? In his twisted and intricate way?

This is merely a guess.
Can't wait for the next episode.

Valar Morghulis.
Valar Dohaeris.

Daniella Sampepajung


Saturday, May 30, 2015

Emotional Performances

Don't you just love it when you hear a song and it moves your heart?

That moment when you can sense the singer is pouring their soul, you can hear it in their voice. More often that not, you can tell whether a singer sing sincerely or merely sing because they have to. 

When a singer sing so emotionally, it gives you chills. 

Some emotional performances that I can recall:

Glenn Fredley
- Sedih tak Berujung, Malaikat juga Tahu.
I love Glenn Fredly, man. He's very soulful in his singing. He makes you believe he's in sorrow.

Sweet Sorrow - You're Lying
The repetition of acusing one's lover of lying over and over again in harmony. Trembles me.

Sandy Simorangkir - Cinta Putih
"Khianaaaaaaaaatiiiiiiiiii
Sebisa dirimu mengkhianaaaaaatiiiii"
Need I say more? That performance was so believable. Ironically, didn't he got cought chating on his fiancee? Before he went to jail. Ironic or not, his rendition on Cinta Putih leaves a strong remark.

Desi Natalia - I Have Nothing
She's a contender on this year's XFactor Indonesia. Her audition moved me. I know this song has been performed and interpreted to death. But a credit's due when a credit's due, don't you think?

Needless to say, the music and lyrics are crucial to a performance. But now I have finally understand why the singer's heart and soul must be put into the soul in order to deliver a memorable performance.

I used to got confused when watching shows like American Idol. The judges always say thing like "put your heart into it" "I don't feel "you" in the song" and thing like that. Those comments made no sense to me. I thought why don't they give a more concrete advice? Like the pitch, perhaps. Or maybe the problems was the nada dasar?
I thought the critics about soul and feeling were nonsense.

Took me long enough, but I finally realize that improvisation should come from your heart. Not because the song arrangement tells you to. And music could touch one's heart, but it needs emotions and heartfelt dynamics in it.

I really hope I will hear more heartfelt songs performanced by Indonesian singers in the future. I don't hear it as often as I'd like.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Over Sharing?

Just this morning I tweeted something about sharing on social media. 

People should contemplate, what should they and shouldn't they share?
What is ok? What is off limits? 
How far should one let their personal thoughts out there? Where did sharing stop and bragging starts?

As far as I remember, I haven't post half about my life in this blog. Not the deepest, most personal moments. Not all of my accomplishments either. To my relief, even during misguided teenage years, somehow I haven't written it all. It's ok to share, it's ok to brag. I share. I brag. But to some extent. We should preserve something just to ourselves and closed ones, shouldn't we? 

I did this, I accomplished that. I went here, I visited that. I own this, I own that. All these sosmed and apps tell you to share. Sharing is good, it's a positive word. But perhaps one should step back and contemplate how far should one share. Are you letting everyone know to much? Are you ok with people prying to every single detail of your life? It's ok to take pride of your achievements, of your possesions even. But perhaps a little bit of discretion would be wise.

Today, with all these sosmed frenzy, there is that temptation of letting everyone know everything, all the effin time, all the effin place. 
I use the word tempation. Not pressure. Pressure means there are forces that's making you do things, even if you're reluctant. Temptation is the desire to do something. It's completely up to you. 

Of course, everyone is entitled to their opinions. And so am I. My opinion is, we should try not to over-share.

It's not like I'm vowing not to share on sosmed ever again. Absolutely not. All I'm saying is, we should probably think before we hit the post button.

Love,
D. C. S.

Daenerys Marlene Todingan

Life after wedding is blissful. Got pregnant immediately after honeymoon, praise the Lord. Now my baby is 3months old and she is the most beautiful and smartest baby there is.

I, like most new moms - probably, was flabbergasted for the first few weeks. Never thought breasfeeding as a challenging task! One that requires displine and patience. But it is all worth it. Baby Daenerys is healthy and happy, we are very grateful. 



Daenerys Marlene Todingan.
Daenerys, taken from my favorite ASOIAF character.
Marlene, combination of out mothers' name - Martha and Caroline
Todingan - her father's last name.

Anyway, I have download blog app so HOPEFULLY I can stay commited and write more frequently this time. 

Maybe I'll talk about Daenerys. Maybe I'll talk about my observation of life in general. This blog has always been some sort of diary anyway. 

Love,
D. C. S.


Thursday, March 20, 2014

(Can not wait for) Life after Wedding Day

Soooo, I'm getting married in exactly thirty days.
Of course I'm looking forward to it, right now in the middle of invitation fiasco... Ok not a complete disaster fiasco, but we do have a lot to do. But all is well and in control, no fear.

After the wedding day, we're planning to have a little trip...
But the thing I look forward the most is:

April 30th, when we're back in our house and start living together. For some reasons, I really do believe that our lives (Pywe and mine) will be more complete and we will face new adventures together. :)


Well for now, here's a cheesy little clip from our Engagement Photo Shoot ^^

video

Thursday, February 06, 2014

The Satisfaction of Reaching a Goal

The goal was to reach body weigh under 49 kg in 2013. Today is February 6th, 2014 and I'm currently 48 kg. Lost about six or seven kilos in four months doesn't seem that much, does it? But I went to hell and back to get that. I'm not that big in the first place, but to be able to become fitter took a lot of hard work.

What did I do?

I pick a sport.
Then I fkin do it.
Three times a week, one hour each.

In terms of food, now I'm eating normally. There were a month or so, maybe back in September or October, when I mostly eat fresh vegetables and very little carbs. Ate red rice everyday, little dinner, and cook food on my own in order to limit calories. But a lot of times I snacked on Snickers. Limiting food consumption is crazy hard especially when you're a stress eater like me. So when I can't hold the hunger anymore, I ate Snickers bars. Started the total diet + exercise combat in June 2013 and it wasn't until November that the result finally shows.

Mostly ate this kind of food: protein, cooked with little spice. And LOTS of fresh veggies. Mostly raw veggies with plenty of mayo hahaha... Or boiled veg with a bit of salt.


The exercise was:
Run for 45mins then some muscle training (5kg barbel each hand)
or, my favorite:
SWIM.
I swim 30-50 laps each time. I am very proud to say that I've done 500 laps during November. With Sutra my cousin as the counter and witness hahahha. The swimming pool isn't very long, about 10m only. But I am very proud to have achieved that 500 laps goal. My personal record was 73 laps in two hours.

Two hundred laps in two weeks

After reaching 48 kg body weigh I have started to have normal carefree dinners again. I don't have the body of a SNSD member, but I do feel content.

Mei 2013
Januari 2014

Mei - November - Januari



March 2013
December 2013


Changes from Mei to November
Personal goal: 500 laps in November

 Most importantly, I am very grateful that this fitter body does look better in pictures. Just in time for our engagement photo shoot. I am very pleased hehehe. Engagement photos to follow!



Never be ashamed for something you have worked so hard for.


Work hard!
Pray hard!
(Oh yes I prayed for this. During the months of enduring diet program, I pray to God for a fitter body and a strong soul to continue exercising. The truth is: I HATE SPORTS. Hate it so much I refuse to spend money by becoming a gym member or yoga member or buying any new sport attire. I wear the same running shoes and swimsuit from high school. The only money I spend for the diet program was for a pair of swimming googles. Only for that and nothing more.)


If I can do it, anyone can.

DCS.

Wednesday, February 05, 2014

Topeng Kaca dan Daydreaming


It turns out my promise wasn’t suci-suci amat ya buat blog ini…
Maafkan saya pemirsa…

I started a business, it made me terribly busy… More importantly, I have the ULTIMATE JANJI SUCI that needs focus and attention, thus the neglect of the promise on the previous post… Banyaknya alasanku… Tapi nda sempat ka memang gang…

OK WITHOUT FURTHER DELAY!!!!


TOPENG KACA (Garasu No Kamen) – Mahakarya SIZUE MIUCHI

**SPOILER ALERT**



Semua yang suka komik dari tahun 90an, terutama cewek, pasti tahu tentang komik teater ini. The story line is captivating, complicated without being overly exaggerated. Not to mention  the beautiful drawing, with big sparkly crytal eyes.  Very 80s shojo manga.

It is based on a big story line, the ultimate question that has not been answered for decades: SIAPAKAH YANG AKAN MENJADI BIDADARI MERAH?? 

That is the one question that I praaaaaay - oh dear Holy Entity pleeeeeease – give me the answer before I leave this world.

Apakah Maya Kitajima akan menjadi Bidadari Merah? Sekaligus mendapatkan Masumi Hayami?? Apakah dia akan mendapatkan her happy ending kasian??
Atau kah Ayumi Himekawa si selebriti sempurna?? Few years back tanpa ragu saya berpihak sama Maya ya. Ayumi di atas kertas memang sempurna dan karakternya berkembang secara alami...Cuma we know deep down that traditionally, the imperfect clumsy normal main heroine would somehow end up winning. Tapiiiiii!!!! Tiba-tiba Ayumi diibuat buta coba sama si pengarang coba.

Miuchi sensei disappear for a decade without finishing her own masterpiece. Then she decided to continue the series, which is great btw. And then she was like “OK let’s make Ayumi blind so everyone starts reading again.”

WHY OH WHY SENSEIIII KASINAAAAAA….

Sekarang I honestly can’t pick a favorite… Antara kasihan sama Ayumi si gadis buta cantik dengan Maya yang MDL (malang dari lahir).  Apakah Maya akan melepas Bidadari Merah dan meraih cinta dengan Masumi? Mana tiba2 tunangannya Masusmi jadi gila ka apa opole… Dramanya…

Truthfully I can’t say I like the time setting change as well…. Miuchi sensei decided to continue the series with time adaptation to recent time, thus the technology changes in the manga. However, I like it the 80s kind of way, from where the manga started its story… No cellphones, no internet… Just theater and sometimes big screen activities.

And it becomes somewhat irrelevant with today’s reality. A rivalry between two young actresses to get the role of a legendary play should become a public fiesta, should it not? So naturally, if it does take the modern setting, it would have some sort of public voting or netizen polling of some sort.

I personally find the new series lacking… The story feels like being dragged, the drawing isn’t as strong as it was… That’s just my opinion, though.

Regardless, I still read them because again: I NEED TO KNOW WHO THE BIDADARI MERAH IS.

I truly wish, before I die, I should get the answer of that question.

OK NEXT TOPIC.



DAYDREAMING / Yumono Mahiru – YOSHIMURA AKEMI




Now this one.
It is full with powerfull words. So many of it I actually memorize some of them. Yoshimura Akemi is a genius when it comes to novel like manga... Almost graphic novel. The scene drawings are always impecable. She also tends to write characters who argues really well. Akemi sensei is really good in producing emotional dialogues. Most of the quotes I like from her works come from the arguing scenes. Akemi sensei would build up tension and climax the scene in though provoking dialogues. Examples to follow.

Daydreaming or Yumono Mahiru is a story of a girl who lives with an elderly woman who has quite a particular family. The elderly lives by herself after her husband passed away so she open a room for rent, thus enter the weak hearted girl. Later they were joined by the granny’s grandchild. The grandchild was a guy who “works’ as a spiritual medium for religious ceremonies.

It is very Yoshimura Akemi sensei. The circumstances setting are unique. She likes to have elderly characters on her work, as well as plenty of arguing-your-heart-out scene.

The girl likes to live with the granny because she can learn how to be strong hearted.

Some quotes that I truly like:

“Dia lawan. Pahami itu dengan jelas. Jangan memperlihatkan kelemahanmu. Lindungilah teritorimu dengan sekuat tenaga!”

This following quote is my favorite scene. These lines are the very reason why at this age I still read mangas. 

 So the story was, the granny’s eldest son had an illegitimate child. The said illegitimate child came to granny’s house demanding for her attention.

Kamu meremehkan selember kertas (referring to kartu keluarga). Tapi karena tidak ada ketulusan untuk mendapatkan selembar kertas itu, kamu tidak diakui.”

“Selember kertas? Huh! Orang yang meremehkan peraturan jangan bicara soal hak.”

Kalau kamu bilang darah lebih penting daripada kartu keluarga, perasaan juga lebih  penting daripada darah. Mana mungkin aku tiba-tiba sayang pada orang yang baru muncul dihadapanku kemarin dan hari ini? Nggak tahu malu juga ada batasnya, tahu!”

“Aku punya sembilan orang cucu yang terdaftar, sedarah, dan sah. Semuanya kubeda-bedakan. Aku hanya menyayangi cucu yang kusukai.”

Powerful stuff, yo. 

Another scene.

“Mana ada orang yang menghormati orangtua serakah yang menghabiskan sisa hidupnya demi diri sendiri dan hidup berumur panjang dengan sia-sia?! Bagaimanapun juga pasti mati! Jadi selama semangat dan kekuatan fisik masih ada, buatlah kontribusi untuk masyarakat, maju terus ke depan, demi dunia, demi manusia, baru mati! Kalau punya semangat bertarung seperti itu, baru ada gunanya kau hidup!!

“Aku merasa seperti ada dirimu tumbuh dalam hatiku, seperti pucuk bunga yang sedang berkembang.”

Which reminds me of this one. It wasn’t from Daydreaming, but it was Yoshimura sensei’s:

“Semua anak perempuan itu bunga yang akan mekar. Kalau kamu, pasti tidak akan salah memekarkannya.”

It has such deep meaning… Every girl is a flower. Every girl will bloom. But blooming is a process, which the girl has the responsibility to decide on how she would bloom and would become…. What kind of flower you’d be is up to you.

I pray that you readers bloom your flowers beautifully.
Please pray that my ULTIMATE JANJI SUCI procession will run well, readers.


Best wishes,
Elsap.