Thursday, January 24, 2013

"Pulang ke rumahku yang abadi - rumahku yang terakhir"

The title is taken from Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre. I'll get to Jane Eyre later.

So I recently watch Les Miserables. As I grow older, I cry more easily. Especially the part where Jean Valjean dying.

The story set in 19th century, in the dawn of French Revolution (if I'm not mistaken), ending in the failed June Rebellion. Jan Vanjean was convicted 20 years of jail because he stole a loaf of bread for his dying nephew.  After got released, he couldn't find any honest work as no one willed to employ him. In the movie he was shown survived by foraging garbage or fodders... One night he was sleeping outside a church when a priest showed him kindness by giving him warm food and bed. Having lost faith in sincerity and mercy, that very night Vanjean stole silver utensils from the church and ran away. He got caught in the morning by the policemen. To Vanjean's surprise, instead of convicted him, the priest said that he did gave all the silver as presents for Vanjean. The priest even added that Vanjean forgot the most precious ones, which were the candlesticks. Bewildered, Vanjean cried out that God has showed him mercy through the priest. Thus, he proclaimed that he shall turn his life around, forget his past and become a new man. Through his life he worked hard, got broken hearted, and endlessly running away from Javert, the prison guard.

At the end of his life, as he took his final breath, he sang these words:

"God on high
Hear my prayer
Take me now
To thy care
Where You are
Let me be
Take me now
Take me there
Bring me home
Bring me home."

"Forgive me all my trespasses
And take me to your glory."


After long years of enduring hardships and working so hard to turn his life around, he finally came home. To His Holy Father's house.

I personally found the part of coming home to Lord Father is especially touching. It reminded me of Helen Burns, the orphaned girl in the novel Jane Eyre. Jane Eyre was sent to an orphanage, where she had one kind-hearted friend named Helen.

Jane was mistreated at home, thus she was sent away. To her story, Helen said:
"Tidakkah kau akan lebih bahagia kalau kau mencoba melupakan kegalakannya, beserta semua ledakan emosi yang menyertainya? Bagiku, hidup terlalu pendek untuk dihabiskan dengan memelihara permusuhan atau mengingat kesalahan orang lain.
Kita semua, semua orang, memang harus dibebani dengan kesalahan di dunia ini. Tetapi aku yakin akan tiba waktunya kita melepaskan beban itu dengan melepaskan tubuh kita yang bisa hancur ini."

Helen continued, "...dengan prinsip ini, pembalasan dendam tidak terlalu meresahkan hatiku, ketidakadilan tidak pernah menindasku sampai terlalu remuk. Aku hidup dalam ketentraman, menantikan akhir."

One day, Helen was very sick. Jane got a hunch and sneak in to visit Helen in the middle of the night.
"Aku datang untuk menemuimu, Helen. Kudengar kau sakit parah dan aku tidak bisa tidur sebelum menemuimu."
"Kau datang untuk mengucapkan selamat tinggal padaku, kalau begitu. Kau mungkin datang pada waktunya."
"Apakah kamu mau pergi ke suatu tempat, Helen? Kau akan pulang?"
"Ya. Ke rumahku yang abadi - rumahku yang terakhir."
Helen then told Jane that her mother died when she was little. Her father got married again and then sent Helen to the orphanage.
"Aku menghitung jam demi jam sampai tiba waktunya aku kembali kepada-Nya dan menghadap hadiratNya. Tuhan adalah bapaku. Tuhan adalah sahabatku. Aku mengasihiNya. Aku percaya Dia mengasihiku."

I'm very well aware that I am too young to think about death. It's just Les Miserables made me think about it and... I came to an obvious conclusion.
The gift of live has been bestowed unto me. I will face all kinds of challenges and miseries in the future. However, after my share of hardships, I will go home. Return to my Lord Father. It's calming, is it not? To know that you always heading to a place. That the very end is home.


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