The Big Three O

I remember those sleepless nights
When I was a little girl, still growing
I especially remember those restless nights
When I was a flimsy teenager with questions unanswered

I remember the boastful prideful nights
When arrogance took over and I think too highly of myself
I remember the tearful nights
When I realize that I was wrong
That I am just a speck of worthless dust in this universe called the real world
I remember the remorseful nights
I remember the anxious nights
When I just feel so lost
I sometimes still have one of those nights

But today

That I am 30

My heart is full with gratefulness

Tonight is a joyous one

Because when I count all the blessing You have given me
When I look around

Everything I am
Everything I have
Comes from You, my Lord and saviour

I wish I could tell my younger self

That everything’s gonna be fine

That You took care of me
That You never forsake me

That You really made my life complete
In every way I can imagine

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